Welcome to The Mindful Life, where I share mindful reflections and exercises to help you build a mindful attitude in your own life for more calm and more perspective.
Dear mindful reader,
Have you noticed how everyone seems overly pent up these days?
Everything feels a little extreme.
If you don't take a hard stance on an issue, it's like you don't get to take part in the conversation. If you don't have a concrete opinion, people find it odd.
They ask you what side you’re on.
People talk about us being in the age of AI. But we're also in the age of extremes.
If you're a vegan, meat eaters think you’re silly and vice versa.
If you're on the left side of politics, people on the right side will presume things about you.
If you're not part of 4 am hustle culture, you must be lazy. If you are part of the 4 am club, you must be stupid.
I don't remember a time when the world felt so boxed in. You have to be in this box or that box.
Have we reached a point where we can't discuss everyday topics without childish name-calling and shouting?
I turn the TV on and can't help but feel like everyone is simply looking for a ‘gotcha moment’, instead of trying to actually solve things so we can all live better lives.
And the truth is, I don’t want to take sides. I think it makes more sense to take a step back and look at things from different perspectives so we can find more moderation, so we can avoid dividing ourselves.
The middle path is the mindful path
The middle path is a Buddhist idea that emphasises balance and moderation. It is the mindful path where you don’t fall into extremes and instead lean on balanced perspectives and behaviours.
The online world has made us more tribal than ever. Whilst it has brought people together, it’s also divided us just as much.
We live in echo chambers that spiral us toward extreme ideas and beliefs, unable to see or understand the other side.
We become full ‘ying’ and reject any ‘yang’.
But the middle path reminds us that we can liberate ourselves from the stress, anger and anxiety of extremes.
And it’s not just when it comes to our opinions.
We shouldn’t spend our time attached to self-indulgence or the opposite - depriving ourselves of life’s luxuries and pleasures.
Somewhere in the middle keeps us grounded and balanced, and in that balance, we can find a calm perspective so we are less attached to extreme ideas and behaviours.
We understand that drinking too much alcohol is not good for our bodies, but if we want to have the occasional drink with friends, that’s okay.
We disagree with other people’s political views, but we can understand why they might have come to their conclusions and do so without hating them.
We might eat too much one day, but we don’t make a habit of it because we know it’s not good for us.
We accept that terrible things happen in the world, yet we also recognise the equal good.
We find ourselves loving things, but we also remember that we need a break from them from time to time.
Balance brings understanding
The middle path allows us the space to be more compassionate, more understanding and more loving to one another, rather than living with assumptions and expectations. We recognise people have differences in opinions, and we don’t have to hate them because of that.
This, to me, is what living mindfully is all about.
When we fall into extremes, it’s difficult to be mindful and understanding.
Our strong beliefs and obsessive behaviour cloud our perspectives.
Taking a step back to notice our attachments invites mindfulness into our lives and allows us the balance we need to live with less stress and anxiety.
If we can understand each other without feeling the need to argue, we can agree to disagree without hating one another in the process.
If we can use things in moderation, we can keep a healthy perspective on what’s good for us and what isn’t.
This helps build a mindful attitude.
The middle path in your own life
What are the things and ideas you find yourself attached to? How can you find more balance in your own life?
In my own life, I’ve tried to be more flexible with my ideas and opinions. I certainly have strong beliefs about things, but I am open to why people might think about the same things differently.
I do not feel a need to argue about our difference in opinion, nor do I want to. I remind myself that it is impossible that everyone is going to agree with me, and more importantly, they shouldn’t.
I’ve also been looking at the things I desire in the material world versus the virtues I want to live by. For a long time, they were out of balance. I valued objects more than how I wanted to act towards other people.
But now I’m trying to be a better friend, better husband and better father, things feel better. I am happier.
I’m looking at the things I get attached to and asking myself why this might be.
All of this has helped me to find more balance in my life without becoming obsessed with things or ideas. Finding balance allows me to recognise the good in everything, not just what I want to be good.
The middle path is one that reminds you it is okay to be flexible and let go of rigid ideas and attachments.
Somewhere in the middle is a mindful calmness where becoming present is much easier.
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